I AM UNBORN (Talks with Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj)

53. Awakened Knowledge is Meditation

8th February1980

(Note: Maharaj is talking of the small speck of beingness, which has various names; he is not talking of

individuals. Millions of names may be given, but what is that speak of consciousness? The trouble is

that we think of individuality only, but whatever exists, speaks, which is in all and which pervades the

entire universe.)

Maharaj: Ask anything and you’ll get a prompt answer, but you will not be able to use it because it

comes from the universal consciousness and we expect to use it as individuals. On the Jnani, any

knowledge, whether worldly or unworldly, has no effect. You may be most intelligent in the world, but

the knower of that knowledge will never come and meet you. That is why knowledge has no effect on a

Jnani, he neither exist nor can he die as an individual. Any kind of knowledge that is made to be

perceived through things is Jnana, not the Jnani.

Visitor: What is the deepest significance of Kum Kum [vermillion]?

M: Easy, that symbol of light within you, keep it.

V: Light is in the heart.

M: That is even in the mind. You have ornaments of gold; can you say gold is in one segment only?

V: Why red.?

M: It is just one color, but basically knowledge has no color.

V: In the South they apply three strips of Vibhuti (ash).

M: It is a symbol of an individual who is supposed to have burnt his individuality to ashes.

V: The three bodies?

M: Yes, yes, if that satisfied you, you can say it. Having heard these answers, what will you put in your

pocket as your identity? Most important thing is yourself, If ‘you are’ they are. We assume that we are

acquiring spiritual knowledge, but we don’t give up our identity. If there is no beingness, there is no

world as far as I am concerned. What is the seed of the entire world? Is there meditation in knowledge

or knowledge in meditation?

V: All is knowledge, is that true?

M: Yes, but if you don’t have the knowledge ‘you are’ who will meditate and who will say it? When

knowledge is awakened it is meditation.

V: Buddha said ‘Now I know all Gods and all the Karmas’, but when his pupil asked him about his

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Karma, he said ‘don’t bother’. My question is, all these manifestations, Gods and Karmas are they

observations of a Jnani? Or are they only concepts? And a Jnani just observes them grow?

M: What Buddha meant was that it (his Karma) was equivalent to excrement, but that was after he had

knowledge, it is not meant for us. (Note: what knowledge Buddha got? Buddha got the knowledge that

Maharaj has, that’s all. He understands what he is and what he has been, if you have understood what

body, mind and consciousness are made of, and you are none of these, then everything is clear).

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54. Nothing…. ‘Something for sometime’…. Nothing

11th February 1980

Visitor: I have pain in the hip, it is difficult for me to say, I am not the body.

Maharaj: There is no alternative presence; gradually you will have a clear feeling that this pain is a

movement in consciousness. You are different from that which moves in the consciousness and

consciousness itself. For example if you dip cotton in scent and keep it closed, fumes of the scent

would come. But we are clear that we are neither the cottoned scent nor the smell of perfume, this

conviction will gradually come.

The tree seeds one maybe watered, but in many cases a seed sprouts without water because it already

contains the necessary wetness. What is born is this beingness, along with it is born waking and

sleeping states. Consciousness is the seed of not merely the waking and sleeping state, but also of the

entire universe. Out of nothingness is something that is just happening for some time.

This ‘I amness’ quality is the Sattva guna (food essence quality). I am The Absolute, I am not that

touch of ‘I amness’, so long ‘I am’ is there witnessing will happen to The Absolute spontaneously. The

dawn and sunlight depend on time, but their observer does not depend on time.

The ‘I am’ in a child is dormant, it does not know itself, but it is there, in due course it knows itself and

as a one knows ‘I am’. Go to the root, the beginning of the child, when you understand that you are not

consciousness, stabilize there; understand and get out. There is no need for The Absolute to go into

Samadhi; it does not go anywhere it’s always there, while Samadhi is a changing state. ‘I amness’

becomes no ‘I amness’ in Samadhi, waking and deep sleep are phases of ‘I am, not of The Absolute.

All relationships relate to Maya or illusion, but instead of Maya, it is said to be God, Godly or Ishwara.

The experiencing state is Ishwara, and in experiencing, whatever activities that take place, are called

Maya. The highest is not an experiencing state, it is without words and meaning, The Absolute is your

dwelling place while your vocations are in the ever changing state. Whatever you know is unreal and

wherever you say you know is also unreal.

V: So I should say ‘I don’t know’?

M: But by now, do you know or not?

V: Mind understands, but the transformation has yet to be.

M: Whatever is getting transformed will not remain, any transformable state will not remain. If you

have accomplished knowledge correctly, you will never know that you are dying.

V: I will see the corpse dying, like Frydman was so happy dying.

M: The very tool by which you observe will itself disappear. After so called death where is the tool of

observation? The very instrument or consciousness will not be there.

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V: Most great sages seem to say that they return to light.

M: In that total light or illumined state, there is no question of rising and setting of light.

V: At a lower level, we choose our incarnation. The present birth is my doing, so no need to grumble.

M: This, others have said, and you accept it, what is your direct experience?

V: None.

M: Then why do you accept it?

V: An ignorant person goes by concepts.

M: Where is the question of faith when the validity of ‘I amness’ is disproved? When everything is

over, one says it doesn’t matter where I die because when you conclude that death is itself false, what

dies? And does it matter where it happens?

V: I remember with joy the truth that I have heard.

M: You are a witness of what you remember.

V: I have a hut which I call ‘Achal’ (immovable)

M: Why did you not name it ‘Parabrahman Sadan’ (the abode of Parabrahman)?

V: The Postman would be troubled.

M: Did you build it of stone?

V: Stone.

M: What are the dimensions?

V: Four hundred and fifty square feet

M: After you, who?

V: I don’t know

M: It is vacant.

V: Has Maharaj spoken about beauty?

M: That by which you are attracted is beauty.

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V: When I am near Maharaj, I feel attraction.

M: Yes

V: I see beauty in his eyes; I have to speak about it.

M: The quality of sight in each person would be different.

V: So there no definition of beauty?

M: Yes, whatever definition given in words is always incomplete. Abide in whatever you become after

listening to my talks, whatever may happen, ‘just be’. Finally what is left over about you as ‘you are’,

be there. (Note: In the morning Maharaj said that after listening to these talks, you will not be in

position to meditate, because no object is left to meditate on. The no object state is meditation, there is

no something left).

V: Any time meditation is internal, not a stance. I ask Maharaj about his experience?

M: I started meditation in the night period, but this tapered off because the meditative mood stabilized,

no-mind stabilized (Note: All stages that Maharaj has gone through are described in the ‘Bhajans’ or

devotional songs). What is caste and community of the waking and sleep states? Is it Jew, Christian or

Muslim? Or is it male-female? All these differences are only because of identification with the body.

V: Yes

M: Could there be beingness in the absence of waking and deep sleep? With this cycle ‘you are’,

otherwise how can you be?

V: My experience is of waking and sleep state.

M: ‘I amness’ is there provided these stages are there, by itself it cannot be. Simultaneously, all these

three stages are a product of food essence. In the absence of body sense, is there any community of

waking and sleep states? Have this affirmation, forget spirituality and dwell there (in the ‘I am’).

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55. The Color of The ‘Seer’

12th February 1980

Maharaj: There is no ‘I amness’ for me, with it, I can talk anything, but it in my realm it has no value.

Since when did you start to recite ‘I amness’? Can you take a word photograph of the meaning of the

words? Did you photograph the meaning of words?

Visitor: I try to print in them in my understanding.

M: If you say it is really registered, then, whatever you may have gathered in your mind, you must

throw out like old clothes. Did you throw out all the concepts?

V: I have clung to them.

M: The body identity cannot get this knowledge, the knowledge ‘I am’ must get this knowledge ‘I am’,

when knowledge abides in knowledge there is transcendence of knowledge. Most of the time while I

am sitting, it is a mindless state. How can one with an occupied mind expound knowledge? If I am

involved with concepts and mind, how can I pass on knowledge to you? If you are slave to concepts,

they will fool you outright. I don’t accept any rigid stance for myself, I never get conditioned by any

conceptual standing, yet I do ‘Bhajans’ (devotional songs). My Guru initiated me and asked how you

are going to repay? He said, ‘you do Bhajans for the ignorant, not for yourself’, the Bhajans must be

regarding the Guru. Today’s activity is for today, tomorrows for tomorrow, there are no limitations, no

carrying forward. You feel that today is similar to yesterday, but it is not like that, everyday is fresh.

Yesterday’s sun is set, today there is another.

V: One should not be caught in thought and feeling but to go beyond the light of perception?

M: These thoughts and concepts are still harassing you.

V: I get peace of mind, I am not being harassed.

M: The movement of your progress should stabilize in you, in the Self.

V: We come back to changeless witness.

M: Nothing will happen, the very idea that something will happen or not to somebody should go. Great

sages have given the location where one has to dwell, without seeking you should be in that state, the

dark blue homogeneous (Krishna) ‘Megh-Shyam’, dark grey blue cloud but without seeking, without

eyes.

V: The color of the face of Krishna?

M: That is known as Lord Krishna, which is sight without sight of your original identity, the identity at

the source. By closing your eyes you will see Krishna, means ‘Gopal’, that which nourishes the senses,

the principle beyond senses. You close your eyes and you see that principle, the very color, deep dark

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blue, is the color of the ‘See’r from which comes everything.

V: Yesterday you spoke about flowers and fragrance.

M: It only illustrated the symbol, the sign of your birth happening.

56. Everything happens in the Knowledge ‘I am’

13th February 1980

Maharaj: So long as one has the sense of involvement, only then is there desire for liberation, once that

goes who or what is there to seek enlightenment? Now you exist because of consciousness, before this

did you have any ideas or the need of God until this sense of beingness had dawned?

Visitor: The very fact of coming, reading, listening is the obstacle.

M: This desire to come and have knowledge is not the obstacle, but the transcending of the ‘beingness’

is, when you had no consciousness, was there any obstacle?

V: No

M: All manifestation depends on consciousness, on consciousness that ‘you are’, find out what ‘you

are’. You can’t understand your nature, but there is consciousness that you exist, that is enough.

Through your consciousness you know the world exists. But that consciousness exists only in your

body or is expressed through your body for living. Keep one thing in view, what ‘you are’ exists in you

as consciousness, get to know what is that ‘you are’ in your body? Supposing one keeps a male and

female lamb, they multiply to five hundred, think about that principle which has created two plus five

hundred. It is an identical principle which works in all creation, it creates everything. Even if you roam

around for years you will not understand the principle of liberation. That consciousness, which one has,

its resting place is within the body. The lambs were eating natural food and their progeny was a result

of the food the two ate. All the mystery will be solved if you think on that principle which through the

food the lambs ate, and produced more and more. The principle which created through food and

through lambs, consider that principle and the whole mystery will be solved.

This consciousness or ‘beingness’, which is a result of food essence, that is what you love and want to

protect at all times. If that food essence which is you body dries up, this ‘beingness’, the feeling that

you exist will also dry up. Then when body perishes, whatever remains, is it free or in bondage?

V: Free

M: That is hearsay; you have no experience of it. Through what instrument you know that ‘you are’?

Free this consciousness which identifies with the body or considers itself as body and is in bondage, the

one who wants to know without this identification, will know. No one has anything under control, from

the rotten food come worms, in what way are those worms different from human form? We attach

importance only to the human forms.

V: The worms did not know of their birth.

M: Did you know of your birth?

V: I am aware of unhappiness, so I search, I am conscious.

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M: Yes, but separate this pleasure and pain from the food essence, who wants liberation then?

V: Reincarnation is humbug then?

M: Yes, it is all hopes and fears given to gullible people so that they work on all life and then die.

(Turning to a doctor, Maharaj asks) What is it exactly that you are trying to save? The one, who thinks

he is going save them, does so because he expects returns. But who remains to enjoy the fruits? So

much advice is given, do this or do that, after dying, the food essence goes, then who claims merits of

good deeds?

V: What is the difference between animals and man?

M: No difference, not even in the sun and moon, everything is just happening. Someone listen to you

and says you are a fool, it is right because small drops of existence know of their separate existence.

They will be calling the body a fool, which is a drop of water, I The Absolute am not that

Consciousness. Medicine is also food, in it this knowingness is in an inert condition, when it goes into

a human form human identity comes to the force, if it goes into a woman, it is the women identity.

V: Beyond the Self, there is nothing?

M: It is infinite, but in the absence of consciousness who worries? What could be the worry of that

principle? What could be the need of that principle? It is like the need of God for the child of a barren

woman. ‘Swaroop-siddha’ (stabilization in self-identity or the Self), what is that exactly? Many people

visit here and they want to be happy, but those who visit here will not require happiness, they will be

beyond it. When a sage stabilizes in his centre, he goes into quietude. You talk when food essence is

there, but having understood both he transcends knowledge and ignorance. That Absolute principle

does not know itself; clear all your doubts about your own self.

V: Is it necessary to know the ‘charkas’ (spiritual centers) for going beyond body identification?

M: When the consciousness is extinguished where is the question of beyond? Since you have urge to

understand, do what you like. Whenever you are quiet, hold on to yourself, meditate on the Self only

that knowledge itself will give you all knowledge

V: But I do so for a short while.

M: Start with shorter periods and in due course you will realize what ‘you are’. Stay in the ‘you are’

only, then you will realize that everything happens in the knowledge ‘I am’.

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I humbly bow to my Guru for the completion of this work

-Pradeep Apte